"Butch Gardens, Episode 2" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (A PANTHER LADY approaches the fearsome ELINOR RADLEY.)

PANTHER LADY

            (Snarling)
The first plane is down, mistress.

ELINOR RADLEY

            (Hissing)
Describe the women to me.

PANTHER LADY

They are beautiful.

ELINOR RADLEY

Pretty, or---you know---beautiful?

PANTHER LADY

Real beauties.  Muscular calves.

ELINOR RADLEY

Ah . . .

PANTHER LADY

Unvarnished, natural beauties.

ELINOR RADLEY

I cannot wait.

PANTHER LADY

They’re coming.

            (They scurry behind some foliage.)

            END OF EPISODE 2.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 1" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

LONNIE

Annie, what is this place?

ANNIE

I just got out of the crashed airplane.

LONNIE

’You hurt?

ANNIE

Nothin’ for a lady like me.

LONNIE

            (Terrified)
Where’s my hand?
            (Appeased)
Oh, I just lost the feelin’ in it.  What can you do . . .  Where are we?

            (ANNIE unfolds a map.)

                  LONNIE (Continued)

That map won’t---

ANNIE

It can’t hurt---

LONNIE

We were flying over the Amazon.

ANNIE

I hear a mighty river---

            (The roar of water.)

                   ANNIE (Continued)

Should we march towards it?

            (They head in the direction of the roar.  Someone is watching from behind a woman-
          eating plant.)

          END OF EPISODE 1.

Epilogue to "The Trial of Westward Ho": "Overheard Voices IV"

            (My teacher says that overheard voices can be more interesting than what we

            make up ourselves. I doubt it.)

MAN

Class, this woman would like to speak to you.

OLDER WOMAN

I have a blog.  It used to be my son’s.  Yes, the one you know.  I need someone to take charge of it.  I have no head for writing---though I might have written a play or two.  I need a writer.  I will not pay.

            (All the PUPILS, in eager foolishness, raise their hands.  The OLDER WOMAN
            selects a YOUNG WOMAN.)

                   OLDER WOMAN (Continued)

You, with hair like a man.  Your lines are biting.  I like you best.

YOUNG WOMAN

My girlfriends said it was my lucky day.

            (The other PUPILS seethe in their envy.)

            END OF EPILOGUE.

            END OF “THE TRIAL OF WESTWARD HO.”

 

"The Trial of Westward Ho, Part XVIII"

THE FOOL

---ruling.

THE POPE

Hold tight to your articles!  Here is my opinion.  Westward, thou didst wrong.  It matters not the intent.  Thou hast offended thy mother---and, possibly, thy sister---over a thing that signifieth naught.  To repeat, art signifieth naught.

            (MR. BALDHAWK, attorney for MRS. HO, stands up.)

MR. BALDHAWK

What is his punishment?

THE POPE

Forsooth, he mustn’t burn.  Let us take the thing that he loveth---

MR. BALDHAWK

His blog?

THE POPE

Aye.  Take it and give it to his mother.  Enough!  I near to die.  Requiem in pace!  Benedicte!

            (He leaves in a flurry of cardinals, bastards, and fools.  The crowd starts to
            leave.  MR. BALDHAWK stops to address MRS. HO.)

MR. BALDHAWK

May I buy you dinner?

            (MRS. HO looks for a count of three, then deliberately---viciously---turns her
            back.)

                  MR. BALDHAWK (Continued)

Song?

            (MR. BALDHAWK, beside himself, makes to leave.  His busy hands mutilate
            what is left of his hair.  WESTWARD addresses MRS. HO.)

WESTWARD

Mother.  Will you close “Plays:  Short and Strange”?  Will you close the blog?

MRS. HO

It costs me nothing to leave it open.  I am a businesswoman.

WESTWARD

May I still write for it?

MRS. HO

Of course not, my boy.

WESTWARD

            (After a pause)
Shall I gather my belongings and move out?

MRS. HO

No, my son.  I am almost at an end of being angry.
            (Pause)
I very nearly made a mistake.  But I did not make it.

            (MRS. HO goes out a different way than MR. BALDHAWK.  WESTWARD
            stands in the fading light of the empty courtroom, then follows her.)

            END OF PART XVIII.