"Butch Gardens, Episode 26" by MTR Studios (Mocha Tchokha Rose, head writer)

            (The last of the cubes.  ELINOR RADLEY is being terrorized by an 

            ABOMINATION of organic parts.)

ABOMINATION

I will tell you my origin story.

ELINOR RADLEY

Is that all there is, the telling of origin stories?

ABOMINATION

I---

ELINOR RADLEY

Because, if it is, then I want nothing to do with it.  I’d rather you killed me now.

            (The ABOMINATION shrugs and kills ELINOR RADLEY.  The 

            PANTHER LADY, outside, screeches---but to what end?)

            END OF EPISODE 26.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 25" by MTR Studios (Mocha Tchokha Rose, head writer)

            (The last of the cubes.  ELINOR RADLEY finds herself in it.)

ELINOR RADLEY

A cube?  I thought I’d be resting by the crackling fire.

            (A figure emerges from the darkened corner.)

                   ELINOR RADLEY (Continued)

Who in the hell are you?

            (The figure draws nearer.)

                    ELINOR RADLEY (Continued)

You’re out of the light.  You must know that I can’t see you when you’re out of the light.

            (The figure inches forward---an abomination, stitched together from organic
            parts.)

ABOMINATION

Elinor Radley . . . you will pay . . .

            (While many might scream in this situation, ELINOR RADLEY is unused to
            doing so.  The PANTHER LADY, however, howls on her behalf.)

            END OF EPISODE 25.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 24" by MTR Studios (Mocha Tchokha Rose, head writer)

            (A large cube.  GEORGETTE, the other grayhead, is in there with a giant snake.)

GEORGETTE

Are you friendly?

ANACONDA

I’m well-fed---

VOICE FROM WITHIN THE ANACONDA

I’m here, too!

GEORGETTE

Three? in the same cube?

VOICE FROM WITHIN THE ANACONDA

I’m being digested . . .

GEORGETTE

Do I know you?

ANACONDA

            (Answering her question)
You’ve probably run into snakes like me at the reptile house . . .

GEORGETTE

            (To the snake)
Dear, I was talking to the woman inside you.

VOICE FROM WITHIN THE ANACONDA

In life, I was called Lonnie---

GEORGETTE

You were that auburn-haired’s girlfriend.

VOICE FROM WITHIN THE ANACONDA

Annie---

GEORGETTE

“In life”?  Are you dead?

VOICE FROM WITHIN THE ANACONDA

A few hours . . .

ANACONDA

            (To her meal)
Lonnie . . . does it hurt when I burp?

VOICE FROM WITHIN THE ANACONDA

No more than dying . . .

            (The snake burps loudly.  GEORGETTE is tickled.  Outside the cubes, the
            PANTHER LADY scampers about.)

            END OF EPISODE 24.

"MTR Studios"

            (Several WRITERS gather in the backroom at Panera Bread.  One stands and
            addresses the others.)

MOCHA TCHOKHA ROSE

Ladies, you are all out-of-work writers in need of employment.

WRITER 1

That’s not strictly true, Mocha.  I have a seasonal job as a gift-wrapper.

WRITER 2

I, too, am a gift-wrapper.

WRITER 3

As am I.

MOCHA TCHOKHA ROSE

Seasonal work comes to an end.  Would you like something longer-lasting?  Would you like to ply your trade with a pen?

WRITER 2

Is there pay?

MOCHA TCHOKHA ROSE

My soap opera is too much for one woman.  It’s taking away from my job as a non-seasonal wrapper.

WRITER 3

            (To the others)
“Butch Gardens” is a popular series.

WRITER 2

I’d like to write---!

MOCHA TCHOKHA ROSE

There’s no pay, mind you.  No one makes anything, especially with the internet.

WRITER 1

Words are our bread.

WRITER 2

I wouldn’t do it if there was pay.

MOCHA TCHOKHA ROSE

It’s settled?  Here are my outlines.  Write well or I’ll kick you off.

            (An UGLY WOMAN enters, with frizzy black hair.)

UGLY WOMAN

Is this the meeting for authors?

MOCHA TCHOKHA ROSE

Westward Ho, your mother told me to watch out for you.

UGLY WOMAN (WESTWARD HO)

But, Mocha . . . can I write, too?

MOCHA TCHOKHA ROSE

Women-only.  We won’t be silenced.

            (The four women leave the backroom to fill up on free samples of crusty loaves. 
            WESTWARD HO takes off his wig and sighs.)

"Butch Gardens, Episode 23" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (A large cube.  COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE is sleeping in it.  The fabric of her
            dresses ruffles with her snores.  GRACE hobbles in and sits on a stool beside
            her.)

GRACE

Duchess?  I was looking for you---

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

             (Lifting her head)
We live in a cube now.

GRACE

I need someone to listen.

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

 Hand me my snuff.

            (GRACE gives her a big box.  The COUNTESS snorts greedily.)

                  COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE (Continued)

When I was younger, I went all over the countryside recording the stories of old peasant women before they died.  I learned many a charm.

GRACE

I’m not interesting like that---

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

No---

GRACE

But no one listens---

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

I soon grew tired of the peasants’ lives:  a brother dies, a sister’s raped, a lover boils in oil.  But tell me, dear:  your tale’s not distressing?

GRACE

            (Thinks)
 I didn’t think so.  Maybe . . .

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Well, make up your mind before you cough up the depressing details.  I don’t want our cube brimming over with depressing details.

            (The PANTHER LADY bays from the top of the cube.)

            END OF EPISODE 23.