"Butch Gardens, Episode 66" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (The drug lords’ lair.  ELINOR RADLEY lunges at an unseen nemesis and falls 

            to the floor.)

ELINOR RADLEY

Aaaah!

FOOFEE

If you can’t see or hear them, you can’t beat them with force!

ELINOR RADLEY

I can smell them!  

LONNIE

She’s right---

ELINOR RADLEY

Men!

 

FOOFEE

            (To ELINOR RADLEY)

Calm down!

            (To all the women)

Because we can’t use force, we have to use language.

LONNIE

Language?

FOOFEE

Incantation.  Lullaby.  Women’s words.

            (The PANTHER LADY twitches her ear quizzically.)

FOOFEE

Do like me.  Sorry.

LONNIE

Thank you.

PANTHER LADY

Oh?

ELINOR RADLEY

Yes!

FOOFEE

Sorry.

LONNIE

Thank you.

PANTHER LADY

Oh?

ELINOR RADLEY

Yes!

            (Growing more vehement, they chant around the perimeter.)

FOOFEE

Sorry!

LONNIE

Thank you!

PANTHER LADY

Oh?

ELINOR RADLEY

Yes!

FOOFEE

Sorry!

LONNIE

Thank you!

PANTHER LADY

Oh!

ELINOR RADLEY

YES!

            (Crescendo.)

            END OF EPISODE 66.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 64" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (In the drug lords’ lair.  Showing evidence of having fought, ELINOR RADLEY 

            confronts her unseen nemesis.)

ELINOR RADLEY

So it’s you!

LONNIE

Who’s she talking to?

FOOFEE

Shhh---!

            (The PANTHER LADY growls.)

            (ELINOR RADLEY and her unseen nemesis circle round each other.)

ELINOR

Oh ho!  You’ll pay for that!

            (She lunges into space.)

            END OF EPISODE 64.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 63" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (The drug lords’ lair.  It’s gray, like a dusty shooting gallery but with nobody 

            popping out.  A faint buzzing.)

            (The younger women---ELINOR RADLEY, FOOFEE, LONNIE, and the 

            PANTHER LADY---approach.)

FOOFEE

The drug lords’ lair.  Do we walk in?

LONNIE

Where could they be?  Oh, I don’t understand men.

            (The PANTHER LADY yelps and switches something with her tail.)

FOOFEE

What’s the---?

            (The PANTHER LADY yelps again and spins around, looking for what bit her.)

                    FOOFEE (Continued)

What---?

            (FOOFEE touches her side.)

                    FOOFEE (Continued)

Did I bump---?

LONNIE

Something’s poking me!  Like a pencil point---

FOOFEE

It hurts a little---

LONNIE

Not too bad---

            (The PANTHER LADY snarls at an unseen annoyance.)

ELINOR RADLEY

It’s men!  Men!

            (She brushes something from her neck.)

FOOFEE

They’re attacking from another plane!

            (The women thrash mildly.)

LONNIE

How do we fight what we can’t see or hear?

            (Hitting.  Snarling.  Not too much.)

            END OF EPISODE 63.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 61" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (The drug lords’ lair.  All is stillness and veiledness.  The emptiness is queer.   

            Perhaps a slight buzzing.)

            END OF EPISODE 61.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 60" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (ELINOR RADLEY, FOOFEE, LONNIE, and the PANTHER LADY are 

            stalking drug lords in the Amazon rain forest.)

LONNIE

Hold on.  If we can’t hear men, how do you think we’ll see them?

ELINOR RADLEY

Well---oh, I don’t know . . .

FOOFEE

They must exist on another plane---

            (The PANTHER LADY looks up, crouches, and snarls.)

                     FOOFEE (Continued)

Not that kind of plane, silly Panther Lady.

ELINOR RADLEY

But, if that’s so, how do we destroy them?

            (Stupefaction.  Shrugs all around.)

            END OF EPISODE 60.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 59" by MTR Studios (Mocha Tchokha Rose, head writer)

            (LONNIE, FOOFEE, ELINOR RADLEY, and the PANTHER LADY are 

            stalking drug lords.)

LONNIE

I’m worried about Annie---

ELINOR RADLEY

Silence!  Do you want to get us killed?

            (Walking, tracking.  ELINOR RADLEY stops everyone.)

                     ELINOR RADLEY (Continued)

Do you hear men up ahead?

            (The women look at each other.  Even the PANTHER LADY has a dumb look 

            behind her whiskers.)

                   ELINOR RADLEY (Continued)

Can any of you hear men?

            (Dumb looks.)

FOOFEE

I used to hear my brother Feefoo.  But he was the only one, and he’s dead now.

ELINOR RADLEY

Well, what are we supposed to do?

            (ELINOR RADLEY drops her machete.  The butt end lands on the PANTHER 

            LADY’s paw.  She yowls.)

                    ELINOR RADLEY (Continued)

Do you want them to hear us?

PANTHER LADY

            (Hissing)

If we can’t hear them, what makes you think they can hear us?

            END OF EPISODE 59.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 58" by MTR Studios (Mocha Tchokha Rose, head writer)

            (The two gray-heads, GEORGETTE and GRACE, are traversing the jungle with 

            COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE, on a mission for something.)

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Can either of you actually hear men?

GEORGETTE

What do you mean?

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Hear their voices when they speak?

GRACE

Of course---

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

I can’t.  They’re too low.

GRACE

Ridiculous---

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

They say the high tones go first.  But, as a woman living among women, I’ve lost my low.

GEORGETTE

Grace’s voice is very gravelly because of her Camels---I don’t fault her---and you hear her fine.

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

There’s something feminine---

GEORGETTE

That’s silly---

GRACE

But, Georgette:  last month, the UPS guy came to the door.  I think it was those herbal teas.  And he was moving his lips like he wanted something.  But neither of us heard him.  So, after a few minutes, he walked away.

GEORGETTE

Now that you mention it, I haven’t heard a man in years.  Remember when those missionaries showed up on bicycles?  We stood there nodding for half an hour.

GRACE

I guess we can’t hear men.

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

So tell me how we’ll know when we’re near the drug lords?

            (She snorts some snuff.)

            END OF EPISODE 58.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 57" by MTR Studios (Mocha Tchokha Rose, head writer)

            (Enter the two gray-heads, GEORGETTE and GRACE, followed by 

            COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE.  The COUNTESS is taking snuff.)

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Do you get the idea . . . that we were put in this group . . . because we’re---snort!---infirm?

GRACE

Speak for---

GEORGETTE

            (Simultaneously)

I don’t like “infirm.”

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

We’ve got a couple centuries among us---

GRACE

            (To GEORGETTE)

What’s with her?

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Do you mind if I sit?

GEORGETTE

We’re supposed to . . .  What are we doing, Grace?

GRACE

That bossy one said, “Go!”  Search for men, I guess.

            (They cock their heads as if to pick up sounds.)

GEORGETTE

Is that men up ahead?

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Can either of you hear men?

            (Stares.)

            END OF EPISODE 57.