"Butch Gardens, Episode 15" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (Back at the site of the four plane crashes, the two severed HEADS roll around. 
            Fragments from the woman-eating PLANT gather themselves together and
            address the HEADS.)

PLANT

Hey, ladies!  I was pulverized, but I’m not through.  Why don’t you come with me, and we’ll make something of our shared brokenness?

HEADS

Will you eat us?

PLANT

I’m damaged goods, too desperate to find anything but friends in this world.  Are you with me?

            (The PLANT pieces start to shuffle off.  The HEADS roll after.)

HEADS

Whee!

            END OF EPISODE 15.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 10" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (Another plane crashes on top of the first three.  It sets there a moment.) 

PANTHER LADY (Voiceover)

I think we have enough people now, mistress.

              (The cockpit door springs open and two heads roll out.)

ELINOR RADLEY (Voiceover)

I think, perhaps, you’re right.

            (Another plane whizzes in the distance.)

            END OF EPISODE 10.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 7" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (The most recently crashed plane, teetering atop the first two, starts to jiggle.)

FOOFEE

They’re coming out---

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Let’s hide, Foofee.  I don’t want to meet new people.

            (They hide in the woman-eating plant.  The door of the plane pops on its hinge
            and slowly begins to rise.  Two little gray-haired ladies, GEORGETTE and
            GRACE, hobble out.)

GEORGETTE

Oh, Grace . . .

GRACE

This doesn’t look like Orlando . . .

GEORGETTE

Oh, no; not Orlando; no . . .

GRACE

Hello?  Is anyone here?

GEORGETTE

That’s right.  Help me down.

            (GRACE lends a hand to GEORGETTE.)

GRACE

How’s your hip?

GEORGETTE

Thank goodness for Boniva.

GRACE

            (Calling out)
Is anyone here?

GEORGETTE

Hello?  We’re two little old ladies from Tallahassee---

GRACE

            (Overlapping) 
Two little queer ladies from Tallahassee.  Hello?

GEORGETTE

On our way to Orlando---

GRACE

Indialantic, really---

GEORGETTE

But no one knows where that is---

GRACE

Two little queer ladies, on our way from Tallahassee to Indialantic---

GEORGETTE

But Grace doesn’t know how to fly the plane.  I don’t fault her.

GRACE

And now we’re lost.  Hello?

GEORGETTE

Hello?

            (Struggling from the bushes.)

                 GEORGETTE (Continued)

            (Motioning)
I hear something other there.

            END OF EPISODE 7.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 5" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (FOOFEE helps COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE climb down the pile of
            wreckage.)

FOOFEE

Here’s something odd, Countess.  It seems our plane crashed on top of another plane.

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

What are the chances---?

FOOFEE

Watch out!

            (FOOFEE throws the COUNTESS down onto a pile of tropical leaves.  Another
            plane crashes down upon the first two.)

                 FOOFEE (Continued)

Would you believe another plane?

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Foofee.  You’re on top of me . . .

            (They remain still a moment.)

            END OF EPISODE 5.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 4" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

My glorious plane!

FOOFEE

My apologies, Countess.  It was like some force pulled the steering mechanism---

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Foofee, my trusted womanservant, you survive?  But the plane---

FOOFEE

And what of Feefoo, your trusted manservant---?

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

Yes, what of him?

FOOFEE

Oh, dear.

            (FOOFEE opens the plane door.  Roasted meat.)

                  FOOFEE (Continued)

I’m afraid he didn’t make it.

COUNTESS VAN DER CAVE

I have a bad feeling about this, Foofee.  Close the door.

            (She makes several attempts and finally gets the plane shut up.)

            END OF EPISODE 4.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 3" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

            (The sound of a plane crashing.)

LONNIE

Another one?  ’Gives me the shakes.  I remember our crash.

ANNIE

I, for one, look forward to the wilderness.

LONNIE

You’re one for roughing it.  Should we go to the crash site?

ANNIE

Are you a doctor?  I’m not a doctor.

            (They keep walking.)

            END OF EPISODE 3.

"Butch Gardens, Episode 1" by Mocha Tchokha Rose

LONNIE

Annie, what is this place?

ANNIE

I just got out of the crashed airplane.

LONNIE

’You hurt?

ANNIE

Nothin’ for a lady like me.

LONNIE

            (Terrified)
Where’s my hand?
            (Appeased)
Oh, I just lost the feelin’ in it.  What can you do . . .  Where are we?

            (ANNIE unfolds a map.)

                  LONNIE (Continued)

That map won’t---

ANNIE

It can’t hurt---

LONNIE

We were flying over the Amazon.

ANNIE

I hear a mighty river---

            (The roar of water.)

                   ANNIE (Continued)

Should we march towards it?

            (They head in the direction of the roar.  Someone is watching from behind a woman-
          eating plant.)

          END OF EPISODE 1.