Monday, February 24, 2014

"Butch Gardens, Episode 33" by MTR Studios (Mocha Tchokha Rose, head writer)


            (The last cube.  The ABOMINATION of organic parts is about to tell her origin 
            to ELINOR RADLEY, whose soul is trapped in an amber ring which the         
            ABOMINATION wears.)

ABOMINATION
And so---

ELINOR RADLEY (Voiceover)
Say no more!  I know your secret---and, oh, how it haunts me!  How it haunts me!

            (As she speaks, ELINOR RADLEY’s gestures grow more flamboyant, reflected 
            in how the ABOMINATION has to move her ring finger to and fro.)

                   ELINOR RADLEY (Voiceover, Continued)
I know all about you---the two human heads, the body made of leaves.  You have not sprung from nothing; but you knitted yourself together from a heap of unwanted parts.  How I regret my portion in the doing!  How I regret it!  For I recognize you heads!  You rolled out from the fourth plane.  The one that crashed after Annie and Lonnie’s, after Countess van der Cave and her maidservant’s, after Georgette and Grace’s.  No, I never needed four planes.  I’m so sorry.

ABOMINATION
And my green leaves?

                  ELINOR RADLEY (Voiceover)
Well, that’s not so much my fault.  But I know the truth.  Leaves, you are from a woman-eating plant near the crash site.  You tried to eat the countess but found yourself pulverized by gray-heads.  If it weren’t for my heinous plane magnet, none of this would have happened.  If only my lust for lesbians---my strong desire to bring strong women to Butch Gardens---had not gotten the best of me!  But I am a rotten old sinner.  Truly, I am.  I am sorry, Abomination.  Let us not call you Abomination, but Gift from God.  For I love your two heads and your leaves.  Maybe, within the density of your foliage, you can find cause to forgive someone who birthed so much trouble and who now repents so heartily!  I am a changed woman from your visit.

            (The ABOMINATION, all weepy, brings the ring to her lips.)

ABOMINATION
Oh, Elinor! Elinor!  How much we have endured!

            ELINOR RADLEY (Voiceover)
You only, my dear.  I merely got the punishment I deserved.

ABOMINATION
I killed you---!

            ELINOR RADLEY (Voiceover)
And I, you!

ABOMINATION
Curst fate!

             ELINOR RADLEY (Voiceover)
Say no more.  Let us be partners now---to the bitter end.

ABOMINATION
No!  I can save you yet!  I’ll crack the amber and release you!

             ELINOR RADLEY (Voiceover)
I deserve no such---!

ABOMINATION
You deserve the world, Elinor Radley!  You deserve the world!

            (The ABOMINATION cracks the ring against the ground.  From the rising 
            smoke, ELINOR RADLEY comes, freed from her prison.)

ELINOR RADLEY
You snivel!  You weak weed!  I’ll make head salad out of you!

ABOMINATION
Huh?

            (ELINOR RADLEY thwacks the ABOMINATION with all her might.  Sound 
            of beaten leaves.  A palm sundae.)

            END OF EPISODE 33.